Wednesday, January 11, 2012

AFRAID OF YOU KNOW MY FEELING


I don' know what happen with me
I began to think about you everyday
It strated when I met you 5 years ago
I thought that it was just nothing
But sometime I see you in my dream, even I don't know your face exactly is like
and I began to believe that you are my destiny
After the event, I wanted to be in the same school with you
So I did it, but I only could see you from the distance because we were in the different class
And next year later, I had a chance to be your classmate, I was very happy
But it took a little bit difficult to make a close friend with you


I am really happy to hear you call my name
only call my name
I don't know what I had to say and what I had to do
when you tried to make a small talk with me
So that's why I tried to stay away from you
Because I don't want you know that I LOVE YOU

Lembar-lembar Kusut

Haruskah ku bakar semua kertas-kertas itu?
benar apalah arti lembaran-lembar kusut
yang tak mampu lagi ceritanya dirajut
untuk apa lagi masih menyimpan?
menunggu jawaban yang tak kunjung usai
hanya membuat hati teriris perisai. . .

aku masih punya kertas baru
kan ku tulis cerita baru
tanpa kamu selalu
yang dulu ku tunggu-tunggu
tanpa kepastian yang tentu

bodohnya diri
hanya karena terpaku pada tatapan mata
yang tak tahu maknanya
inilah saat yang tepat
untuk melompat
jauh dari tempat kau berpijak
kan ku hapus jejak-jejak
agar kau tak menghantui ku setiap saat

The Last kiss

       Once upon time, there was a beautiful small white house in a village near a tourism place that is a lake. The house looks very clean and fresh with the plants that grow fence the house. People called the house as the whites and so do the family who live in the house.  The whites consists of Mr and Mrs Colton and two children, but the oldest daughter was die. Mr colton is a head master of Junior High School, whereas Mrs Colton is a sailor. People, live in the village, admire the whites because the whites is very kind to everyone.
       One day, Mrs Colton asked the youngest daughter, who is still studying in english department, to buy sewing needs. In the way, a young police stopped her suddenly when she was cycling. She was confused why the police stopped her.
”your name please!” the police asked and took a pen and sheet of paper to write down the mistake every resident who does not obey the rule.
“Jasmine Colton.” she said. The police pretended to write it on a sheet of paper he held.  “sorry sir, what’s my wrong?” she asked.
“so, don’t you know your wrong?” the police asked her. She think a lot what’s her wrong actually. The police who was standing in front of her, looked to hold his laughter.
“now, show me your driver’s license” the police asked.
“what? Are you kidding me?” she said wonder.
“don’t you see that I am cycling?not driving like you! I don’t have driver’s license.” she was getting annoyed.
“so show me your ID card” the police said. “is it important to show you my ID card? What’s kind of this rule? I never heard this rule before. I’m sorry sir, I gotta go. I’m in hurry, you have spent my time so much.”
       The police laughed a lot when she left the place. The young police actually is Jasmine’s close friend when they were child. But Jasmine and her family moved to this town when she was graduated from Junior High school.
***
       After having dinner, Mrs Colton told Jasmine that Mrs Smith called her and she told that her son, Jacob Smith, lived here five months ago. Mrs Smith told that his son is a police. Jasmine was shock when her mother told this and she was just conscious that the young police who stopped her this morning is Jacob. She is very happy to hear that Jacob lives in the place where she and her family lives. In a moment, Jasmine goes to the police station to see her old close friend, Jacob.
       In the police station, Jasmine waited for Jacob to finish his duty. After Jacob finished his duty, he directly saw Jasmine who sitting in a loby room. Behind the opening door, Jacob looked at Jasmine and said “Ms Jasmine, do you already know me?.” Jasmine did not know what to say, she stood and came closer to Jacob. She only looked at Jacob without saying anything. All of a sudden, everything is silent, till Jacob huged Jasmine. Jasmine cried in his hug then said “I hearts you so much Jacob”.
       They went home together. Jacob took Jasmine up by his motorcycle. They talked everything happened when they were in a long distance. And they told every funny events passed when they were still together before Jasmine and her family moved.
“You used to come to my house every night. Now don’t you want to drop by my house?” Jasmine asked and give back the helmet, she used, to Jacob.
“No thanks, it’s late. Next time. Good night Jasmine”
 
***
        Almost everyday Jacob comes to Jasmine’s house. Whenever he has time and he does not in a work time.  Wheather just for picking up Jasmine and taking up Jasmine to campus, or for visiting the lake near Jasmine’s house, even for accompanying and helps Jasmine does her task from her lecturer. Jacob is a smart boy, so does Jasmine. They used to study together everynight.
       On Sunday afternoon, Jacob and Jasmine visited the lake by on foot because it is near from Jasmine’s house. The lake looked more beautiful by twilight. In the bank of the lake, Jasmine and Jacob were standing and noticed the view. Jasmine told a belief of people live around the lake that anyone who throws a coin to the lake and he can see where the coin exactly down, then his wish will become true.
“have you ever tried to do that?” Jacob asked.
“Yes I have tried repeatedly, but I couldn’t see my coin.”
       According to the tale, the water of the lake will cover up the coin if the wish contradicts to your feeling. So you will never see where the coin exactly down. Otherwise, the lake will show you where the coin exactly down if your wish really comes to your deep heart, then your wish will become true.
“what was your whis then till you could not see your coin?.” Jacob asked curiously. Jasmine did not answer Jacob’s question. She stared the lake and gave smiling.
“it was in the past, I don’t want to remember it again.” She said. “you wanna try?.” She asked with smiling expression.
***
       One day, Jasmine graduated of her studying in English Department. She got her master title. This day is a long-awaited day. She was very happy not only because she got her master title, but also ones whom she loves, her parent and her fiance, looked on her. But she did not find Jacob. Jacob who noticed that Jasmine was happy with her family include her fiance, imprisoned to gether with them. Jacob come back to the police office. In the office, he looked so miserable. He stared the rose which he bought before as a graduatin present to Jasmine. He got his mobile and made a phone call to a contact named My Jasmine. “see me at the lake” he said to Jasmine.
       At the lake with the same view when Jacob and Jasmine visited the lake together in the first time, Jacob were standing alone waiting for Jasmine. Jacob sighted the twilight etched in the sky, inhaled the fresh air, then touched the clear water of the lake. Not long of this, Jasmine appeared with a beautiful white dress and white ribbon on her long hair. Jacob was stunned to see Jasmine was very pretty.
“where were you?” Jasmine started the conversation.
“I am sorry Jamine, I was busy this morning. But I didn’t forget to give you a present” Jacob said while smiling. Then Jacob gave a beautiful rose to Jasmine as a present of her graduation.
“are you stingy or something? Why a police like you only give me a rose?” Jasmine joked.
“thank you Jacob, actually you don’t need to give me a present if you came to my special day this morning. Your presence is my present. Since you didn’t come, so you have to give me a present” she joked, warmed the situation.
“anyway, what’s his name?” Jacob asked.
“who do you mean? Jack Nelson?” she ansured, then Jasmine told everything about Jack.
       Jasmine met Jack in a small house of her friend. Jack loved Jasmine at the first sight, eventhough Jacob had a girl. After Jacob broke with the girl. Jack always looking for information about Jasmine. One day, Jack expressed his feeling to Jasmine romantically, but Jasmine rejected it. Jack never gave up to have Jasmine’s heart. It took three times for Jack to have Jasmine’s heart. The relationship between Jack and Jasmine was not be allowed by jasmine’s parent. Because they were trauma by what happened to their old daughter who died because of she was shot by a terrorist in a clinic tent of military soldiers. They assumed that the soldiers failed to do their duty as a soldiers to protect residents. Since the day, they dislike soldiers. But Jack was able to get their heart. Then, the relation between Jack and Jasmine got a blessing from Jasmine’s parent. Jack and Jasmine are known as well-suited couple up to now. One day, Jack had to leave Jasmine for a year because of his duty as a soldier. Jasmine missed Jack so much. Until Jack came back and everything back to normal.
        When Jasmine and Jacob were talking a lot about Jack, sudddenly Jack came and held Jasmine’s hand. Jack sorried for distrubbing their conversation. Jack wanted to ask Jasmine walking around the town. He asked Jasmine to wait him near his motorcycle. Jasmine had no choice but complied his order. Jack and Jacob made a serious conversation.
“hy Jacob, i’m Jack. I heard a lot about you from Jasmine and her mother. You are her close friend, aren’t you? I know that you love Jasmine, don’t you?” Jack open the conversation. “yes i do. The only reason why I choose this town to live because of her. I love her” jacob said. “but i will never let her go like you did. I do love her. I’m nothing without her. I’m sorry to say this. Next month, i will marry to her. I hope you attend to our wedding.” “oh really? Congratulation! Sure i’ll be there” Jacob said.
      Jacob cried when Jack and Jasmine left him alone. Jacob regreted for everything he did in the past. He denied his feeling to Jasmine and let her gone. Now, he cannot do anything. He cannot return the time to the past and recognizes that he loved Jasmine. He took out a coin from his pocket. And he made a wish before he threw a coin to the lake. He watched seriously where the coin down. He could see where the coin down. The coin down between a white gravel and broken glass.

***
       Two weeks before his wedding will be held in one of the best hotel of the town, Jack was asked by his commander to war a troop terrorist outside the island for a week. In the war Jack was died because of a shot of bullet penetrated his heart. His death made Jasmine sorrow and depression. Jack left a recorder to Jasmine which is contained his message to her.
Jasmine’s my love...
Jasmine’s my heart...
Jasmine’s my sweety princess...
Nothing else that i can say but i do love you, my princess. You know that i cannot be apart with you. Everytime i always miss you. Even if God stops the time for me, i will miss you...
Jasmine’s my love...
Don’t cry when you hear this kind of sound, cause i cannot stand if you cry. Promise me my princess. Don’t cry!. Jasmine’s my princess...i’m really sorry for anymistakes i made. I’m sorry for being often stubborn. I’m sorry always make you cry and annoyed cause of my attitude. But believe me that i didn’t mean to do that. There is no reason but i love you Jasmine.
Jasmine’s my heart, one day if the God asks me for a more important duty in the heaven. Then never wait me back. Live happily without me, Jasmine. If i might give you a suggestion, please live with Jacob. I believe that Jacob will make you happy forever. Grant My the last order, Jasmine. Please!
Jasmine, listen to me carefully...
May be this is the last thing that i can give you. (then Jack kisses Jasmine three times by the recorder)

       Jasmine cried aloud after she heard Jack’s voice in the white recorder. And she grant the Jack’s order to live happily with jacob. A week after Jack’s death, Jasmine and Jacob married in the place where Jack had planned to married Jasmine.

My Soldier

            Under the twilight, on the chair near a small blue shop, Mary is sitting, waiting for her boyfriend, Daswin,  who has finished his militery academic. She and Daswin have made an appointment to meet each other in the rail station.
           Mary has been waiting more than an hour but he does not come yet. She becomes worried about him. Then she tries to call him, but it does not work because his cellphone is not active. She stands up from her seat and look around the entire of the rail station.
Suddenly, Somebody whom she know well appears in front of her. She does not believe that Jack is here to see her.
“you? What are you doing here?” she asks shocked
“hi Mary...long time no see” he says friendly and making a shake hand.
           They are close friends when they were in Junior High Scool. But they never meet each other since Mary move to other town. Mary really loves Jack, it can be called that Jack is her first love. Mary expressed her love before left him at that time, but he did not care about her feeling.
          They talk more beside railway while Marry is still waiting for Daswin. It is unexpected moment that Jack express his feeling to her. He comes to see her only to let her know his feeling that he regreted.
“Don’t say love to me,,,” Mary says (all of a suddent, everythings is silence in a moment)
“i do love you,,, but it’s too late for you to figure out my feeling now. Cause i will never leave him who does love me. I will never  to be Like you to let someone really loves you go” Mary adds (she tries not to cry and she tries to be obstinate)
“I have been trying to push you out of my mind and my heart, so never come to my life anymore” she says, then she stamped about and leaves him
           Jack runs after her. He takes her by the right hand and hugs her, “Mary, I’m so sorry... I’m sorry for being foolish. I didn’t feel that you do loved me...please come to me mary, I promise I will make you happy forever...” he says while his tears drops out. Mary can not secede from his strong hug.
            Unconsciously Daswin sees Jack hugs Mary. He who just arrives drop his duffle bag spontantly. Marry is surprised and finds that Daswin is in front of her sight
“Daswin...” Marry says slowly in the Jack’s hug


"Dia" pemilik "Nama" itu!

Hari ini aku berada di sebuah ruang ujian (Olimpiade), tepatnya di salah satu sekolah di kota. Aku sendiri berasal dari Sekolah Menengah Pertama (SMP) di salah satu desa di kabupaten ini. Daftar absensi sudah dijalankan, tapi masih ada beberapa siswa yang belum datang. Ku coba lihat daftar nama-nama mahasiswa yang ada di daftar absensi di tanganku. "dag...dig...dug..." suara detak jantungku ketika membaca satu nama secara acak. Tidak tahu siapa pemilik nama itu, hingga membuatku bertanya-tanya. Ku jalankan saja daftar absensi di tanganku ke siswa lain, harapan agar perasaan aneh itu hilang.
Seorang siswa masuk ke dalam ruangan ini. "dag...dig...dug..." suara detak jantung ku semakin cepat ketika aku melihat siswa itu. "Dia Pemilik Nama Itu!!", yakin ku dalam hati. Ternyata benar, dia dalah pemilik nama itu. Nama yang membuat hati ku seperti sebuah magnet negatif (-) yang mencari-cari magnet positifnya (+). Dia sangat asing bagiku, aku tidak mengenalnya dan tidak pernah bertemu dengannya sebelumnya. Tapi kenapa hatiku menjadi seperti ini? perasaan yang sungguh tidak ku mengerti.
Ujian sudah berakhir. Ku percepat langkahku meningggalkan ruang ujian. Aku menuju ke mobil butut yang ku gunakan dengan dua temanku yang lain. Mobil butut ini adalah mobil yang mengantarkan aku dan dua temanku ke sekolah tempat olimpiade ini dilaksanakan. Dari dalam mobil inilah ku pandangi "Dia Pemilik Nama Itu" yang sedang berjalan menuju pintu gerbang. Aku hanya ingin memastikan apakah perasaan aneh tadi masih ada atau sudah lenyap. Semakin ku melihatnya, semakin cepat detak jantung dan peasaan aneh dalam diriku.
"Siapa yang kamu lihat, Na?" Fifi, salah satu temanku mengagetkanku.
"hhhmmm....bukan siapa-siapa kok" (to be continue)